"For what father of you, if the son asks for bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a snake for a fish? Or if he shall ask for an egg, will he give him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?" -Luke 11:10-13
It is like we ask the Lord for bread and He hides a few small seeds of wheat in our house. After that He will not respond when He say we are hungry, for in His eyes He has already given us bread.
But if we understand how He sees things, maybe we would search and the find the seeds; plow the soil, plant and water and wait for a year. Then harvest the grain and go through the tedious process of making bread.
Likewise, it is like we are hungry and ask the Lord for a fish, but He gives us a fishing rod. We first have to go digging for worms and drive to the lake, catch the fish, gut them all the while our stomach is screaming bloody murder!
Indeed if it is true that God has already given me all the essential things I have been begging Him for over the last 6 years (Like Him writing His laws on my heart and filling me with His Spirit) then somehow these things are laying dormant and unnoticed and must first be activated.
For example, say a friend of mine promises me that he'll put Microsoft Word on my computer. Yet it is still not there, so I ask him about it but he does not want to hear it and will not respond to me. Little did I know that six years ago he did in fact hide the setup files somewhere in the hard-drive. But MS-Word must first be installed and activated. So though it was there all along; it could not be used.
If it is like this, I don't understand why He would not tell me this all along, for though I figured out this may be the case, I cannot be sure for I still cant find the installation files, but maybe I should have hope that they are somewhere within me, if that makes any sense
WHAT IS THE DARKNESS?
This passage is addressing one who fears the Lord and obeys the commands of Christ, and yet “walks in darkness and has no light.” This seems odd in light of the scripture that says “those who walk in darkness and say they know the Lord, lie and the truth is not in them.” Therefore, I think we must conclude that the darkness spoken of in Is 50:10 does not symbolizes evil, as elsewhere in scripture.
I believe this darkness is something almost every Christian will experience, its a time where God seems silent, hidden and indifferent; where God seems to be all talk and no action. For example; Joseph whom the Lord promised much through his dreams as a boy, was later sold into slavery by his brothers, and later falsely accused of rape and thrown into prison. The bible says in the Psalms; “the Word of the God tested him,” This was Joseph's time of darkness and it went on for over a decade.
Consider the Israelites who wondered in the desert. God said, He “let them hunger and thirst in the wilderness, to test what was in their heart.” This was their time of darkness... God allowed them to almost thirst to death before coming through for them, but the Israelites miserably failed the test.
Take Job who was a righteous and just man, whom God prospered because He liked him so much. Nevertheless, as a result of a challenge from Satan, he lost his children, his wealth and his health in a day. To top it off he had condemning counselors and worst of all, he could not get an answer or clue from God what he did wrong, this was his time of darkness.
ARE WE KINDLEING A FIRE?
Isaiah 50:10 exhorts those who walk in darkness to trust and rely upon the Lord. But the passage does not stop there, but goes on to warn us not to “kindle a fire and walk in the mist of the sparks we have kindled.” What does this mean?
I remember being alive and finding great delight in Him. I could not help but want to witness to everyone I met. His Word was more satisfying then the finest food and I wept during my intercession for others. I once was able to dance and running in circles because of my excitement over the fact that He loves me! I had energy, He was everything to me and I acknowledged Him in everything I did.
Yet one day it was like the lights were turned off, suddenly the sweetness of being with Him was a cloudy dream; like a distant memory that does not quite seem real anymore. It was as if I misplaced my affection for the Lord and I grow weary in my search for it. God seemed like someone I made up in my head. My confidence was washed out and faded as I looked at the long laundry list of crushed hopes and shattered expectations. My faith seemed blind and the bible read like a old history text book and my ADD would kick into overdrive every time I tried to pray. The positive experiences with the Lord were snowed under by all the negatives; it was like my computer crashed and all the good memories were erased. I felt dependent on Him and yet He seemed unconcerned with my spiritual welfare and I felt left on my own; doomed to fail time and again, while feeling He would not help me tell I somehow got my act together.
Therefore, I became weak and vulnerable to the enemy who has a way to kick us while we are down; by stimulating the lust of the flesh and sowing seeds of the cares of this life. When this darkness settles on us like a heavy blanket, it is easy for us to us to go looking for cigarette lighters; yes during these times of His absence, we try to replace Him with relationships, hobbies, addictive past-times, partying shopping, cyber-communications, music, TV, golf, higher-education, careers, idleness, busyness, friends, family, ministry and religious work. This is what I believe “lighting for ourselves a fire” may refer too, not that these are all bad things, but hey, sex is a good thing, but taken out of its rightful place, it is dangerous, consuming and leads to broken lives and STDs.
We have a void that cannot be filled; we're only happy when something refreshing is going down our bottomless pit, but it's a nagging thirst that cannot be quenched. Here comes the problem, yes we are always thirsty and when we are thirsty we want to drink, but to much of any good thing is deadly. and desire easily make good things twisted and create Frankensteins and cruel masters that rule and dictate our lives. Everything in extreme is destructive, except a hunger for the Lord.
God saw to it that He would never 'fill' our void, God made us the bottomless pit, why? so we would always need MORE of Him, the more we have of Him, the more Christ-like we become, which is His desire for us. But we replace him and try to fill the pit with drugs, alcohol, people, possessions, money and long list of other culturally acceptable things. No wonder our lives are such a freaking mess.
Could it be that an aspect of loving God is for us to endure through a maze full of dead ends? Maybe the mere act of persevering through it is "letting patience have it's perfect work, so that we may be complete and lack nothing". My hope is one of these days I will cry out "how long O Lord" and it will be right around the corner. To me the little man walking into the maze captures the emotion I was feeling and still sobers me when I look this.